An Open Letter to the Refs

By Biscuit

Dear Refs,

First of all…

Thank you.

Seriously.

Without you, we’d just have ten kids, two goalies, and about twelve hockey parents arguing over whether that puck actually crossed the line.

That sounds exhausting.

Now that we’ve got the nice part out of the way…

Can we talk?

I have a few questions.

Not complaints.

Questions.

For example…

How do you always manage to be exactly where the puck wants to go?

It’s impressive, really.

I’ve seen players miss an empty net.

I’ve never seen a puck miss a referee’s skate.

Also…

How is it possible for every fan in the building to have a perfect view of a penalty…

…except the person standing six feet away?

Again.

Just asking.

And while we’re here…

I’d like to officially apologize for everything that gets yelled from the stands.

Most of those people become perfectly reasonable human beings again once they get back to the parking lot.

It’s just something about rink glass.

Now, let’s address every hockey parent’s favorite phrase:

“Come on, ref!”

Which loosely translates to:

“I have absolutely no idea what the rule is, but I’m emotionally invested enough to believe you’re wrong.”

We’ve all been there.

Including me.

Probably.

The truth is, officiating hockey can’t be easy.

The game is fast.

The players are faster.

And somehow you’re expected to watch the puck, the sticks, the skates, the blue line, the crease, and approximately fourteen things happening behind the play…all at once.

That’s a lot.

So here’s my proposal.

For one game each season…

Every parent who yells, “Open your eyes, ref!”

Has to put on the stripes.

No replay.

No help.

No complaints.

Just a whistle and about 200 people suddenly convinced you’re personally responsible for everything that happens on the ice.

I have a feeling we’d all gain a little perspective.

…or we’d all get kicked out by the second period.

Either way, it’d be entertaining.

So thanks, refs.

Keep skating.

We’ll keep pretending we know the rulebook.

Deal?

🍪 Biscuit’s Hot Take: Nobody loves the refs…until their team gets the power play.